Yesterday I Was The Windshield

Today, I’m the bug.

bug1

For the first time since getting my Fitbit six months ago, I hit all of my goals yesterday. I got all my steps, all my flights of stairs, all my minutes of activity, and all of my miles! And when I opened the app on my phone, the screen flashed stripes of green to celebrate!  That was SO cool!

As life’s journey is often one step forward and two steps back, I had a setback last night. One of my own making, to be sure.  But a setback nonetheless.  I was ravenously hungry after all of those steps!  And I fell face first into a bag of Fazoli’s bread sticks.  Buttery, garlic-y, soft, bleached wheat goodness.  Mmmm…  That’s when my body revolted.  I went to sleep in the wee hours of the morning with a stomach ache and woke up the same way.  I am dragging, completely lacking in energy.  My back hurts.  And I knew when I decided to chow on all those carbs exactly what I was setting myself up for.

Every time I eat that way, every time, (every time, Brandi!  Are you listening???), every single time, I notice how my body rejects the junk that I am feeding it.  I used to feel this way all the time, every day, so nothing was really different.  Then I shared the good stuff with myself.  The whole stuff.  The real stuff.  And I felt the difference.  I had the energy I needed to exercise and get things done around the house.  My joints didn’t ache so badly. My body functioned more optimally.  So then why? why? why??? do I continue to do this to myself?  I even wonder sometimes if I’m not sabotaging myself.  But for what purpose? To what end?

I have accomplished eating a good breakfast and making whole foods with lean protein for supper.  That’s the extent of my big hurrah for the day.  So, no step goal, no pictures, no challenges met today.  And there will be days like that.  And that has to be okay.  If I get lost in the frustration that I feel with myself, then finding my way back to joy and strength becomes darker, lonelier and harder.  So I’m going to give myself a day, and hope for a lesson learned and a more productive tomorrow.

tomorrow1

I hope that you are being good to yourself today and loving yourself the way that you deserve to be loved.  I hope that you are finding the strength and hope to overcome whatever obstacles you are facing this week, even if they are self-made obstacles like the one I am stumbling on.  I hope that I can report in with more challenges met tomorrow. You know what’s especially hopeful about tomorrow?  It’s Friday Eve!!!  Yay!!!  I can’t wait!  In the mean-time, Have a Wonderful Wednesday, friends!

humpday

bigsmile

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