Let me start you out with a giggle or two. First of all, McDonald’s used to be the shit. And I mean that in the best possible sense of the word. Seriously. Remember when Mom would pick you up early from school for a doctor’s appointment and on the way you would stop for a Happy Meal? Those are some of the best memories ever! And for the most part you got the correct order and you got it in three minutes or less. So when did it all go to hell in a hand basket? I recently sat for 15 minutes in the drive thru waiting for a Big Mac meal. It frustrated me enough that I took the online survey and asked for a call back from management. Guess what I never got? A call back from McDonald’s management. The last two times I’ve gone through the drive thru, the boy handing out food was higher than Dean on morphine after gall bladder surgery. I’m not kidding. They need to have EMTs out there ready with the NarCan ’cause sooner or later that boy is going down! HARD! Vance also took issue with the fact that we have been led for years now to believe that there is ONE size sweet tea. LARGE. ONE. No questions, that’s it, period. Two of the last three times he has ordered a meal there, they have given him a MEDIUM sweet tea. Which he might think is the new procedure, but the second time they gave him a large. So it just seems to be at the discretion of the person filling the cup. Which I guess, you know, whatever, but Mr. HigherThanAKite is stingy with the tea. Oh, wait, I just got it. He’s stingy because he has cotton mouth. Well, that makes sense. But apparently he has a buddy in the back that he is sharing his goodies with who has the munchies because this is the last burger that Shayne got there:
This photo has not be edited. I have not the first clue how you make a Double Quarter Pounder with no bottom bun. I worked at McDonald’s in the spring of my life. I remember that the cooks were taught: bun, meat, meat, bun. How do you miss a bun? Did they count the buns at the end of the night and become curious how they ended up with half a bun? Had they given the last customer an extra bun and were trying to cover their mistake by shorting this burger it’s bottom? Did Mr. Munchie have to have something to eat NOW so he snarfed the bottom bun? WTH McDonald’s??? I’m calling Ronald. Ya’ll need some Mayor McCheese up in there! He’d get some stuff STRAIGHT!
But while we’re on the subject of food, I’ve got a tender, juicy cat going for cheap if any of you are hankering for some Asian food. Cheaper than chicken! I’m doing us both a favor here! Satan does random things just to irritate us and then struts around the house with her nose stuck up in the air as if to ask, “Well, what do you think you’re gonna do about it? Huh? Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Her latest asinine stunt:
WTH Ruby??? We need that stuff, and it ain’t cheap!
There’s a joke that Dean loves to tell. “A bear and a rabbit were in the woods chatting when the bear takes a break behind a tree to use the bathroom. He soon yells to the rabbit from the other side of the tree, ‘Do you ever have a problem with poo sticking to your fur?’ When the rabbit responds that he doesn’t, the bear reaches around the tree, grabs the rabbit and uses him to wipe his butt.” Dean tells it better. Still, I think this should serve as your warning RUBY!
So that’s all the fun and games I got today. I get this inspirational e-mail each morning that is very uplifting. It reminds me to cut myself some slack, have grace for others, be thankful…all the things that allow our hearts to be free and happy. When I started this blog it was with every intention to write about the laughter in my life, and hopefully to pass some of that laughter on to someone else who may be in need. The unfortunate truth is that we can hope to be the light bringer every day, but it’s not REAL. And we face so much that is not REAL in our society. From news to advertising, from some relationships to standards of beauty. It makes keeping a positive attitude tough sometimes. So let me be REAL with you. My brain chemistry is off. Sometimes it makes for a lot of laughter. But sometimes it’s all fun and games until someone gets their heart broken. This week, my heart is broken.
I fell into the “FANTASY” trap. I told myself that I was working out, eating better, taking care of myself for me. That’s how it should be. But then with every workout, I was imaging myself with J Lo’s butt. I was imagining myself with Britney’s abs. Every time I would use a new hair product, I imagined that I would now have Emma Stone’s beautiful locks. Each time I’d coat my face in anti-aging cream I would hope to wake up the next morning with the face of Charlize Theron. I was hit with the realization this week that regardless of what I do to myself, I’m always going to BE myself. Which depressed the hell out of me. So I went to the guys and I told them that I was sorry that I wasn’t being myself (or I was? That was the problem?) My wise beyond his years son was quick to remind me, “Mom, none of those girls looks like those girls. They have butt lifting undergarments, teams of hair and make-up artists, lighting specialists, surgeons and air-brush artists.” Sadly, though I know this is true, my eyes deceive me and I have a hard time not believing them. But then my sweet, kind, supportive husband whispers, “YOU are the person I fell in love with. I think it’s great that you want to be healthy. But I don’t want you to change into anyone else because YOU are who I love.” Of course his words melt my heart, but my brain takes a little more time to get on board.
In an effort to get me out of my head, Dean took me out to look for some photo opportunities during the storm on Sunday and Vance went walking with me to take some pictures at sunset yesterday. I especially love those things which are perfectly imperfect. They remind me that there is beauty to be found in everything, exactly as it is. Even me. Here are a few of my favorites. There are several, because, like my children, though not everyone will be able to see the value in them, I know their stories and I can’t choose between them. I hope you see what I see. I hope you enjoy them.
This is the roof line of the old Scott County Jail just before the storm set in:
A flag blowing in the storm downtown:
A couple of Kentucky sunset pictures. I love the birdies in the tree.
Some textures that I liked:
The boys took a photography class several years ago. The main lesson I learned from it is to look at things from a different perspective. Ironically, my favorite perspective is up even when my brain chemistry is pulling me down. But I thought maybe I should look down and lo and behold I found this neat paint spill:
I found the color and movement in these pictures interesting:
An art teacher once told me of perspective, “A person who draws a picture of a road the short way across a piece of paper believes that their life will be short and unfulfilling, A person who draws the road long ways up the paper believes their life will be long and filled with adventure and promise.” For some reason that has always hung in my mind and I think there was probably more to what she was saying than meets the eye. I had drawn my road long, even though at that time I was battling a deep depression so her words surprised me. I think maybe that discussion transformed into my love of fence lines and peeking over walls (to see what the future holds? the past? secrets that aren’t mine to keep?)
Of all the photos I captured this weekend, this one is my favorite. This place has been abandoned, forgotten, ignored, but there is still an intriguing beauty to the loneliness and a story to be told.
Old Woodworking Shop, Downtown, Georgetown:
So that’s the beauty that I’ve found in the world this week. I hope the rest of your week is filled with beauty. And when it looks ugly, I hope you’re able to see the whole story that paints a picture of love and joy over the surface stains. Peace, love and strength to you my friends!